Three weeks ago my 14 week hiatus from work came to an abrupt end and I returned to Hermann. It has been a bit of a sad time for me. The first day back I cried before I left Ellie with our nanny. I stopped crying now, but it is still super hard for me to leave her everyday. I really struggle with how much I have to work and how little I get to see my darling baby. I am sure every working mom goes through this in one aspect or another. But most moms aren't residents that work 70 hour weeks either. I realize 100% that becoming a doctor was a conscious choice made by both Bryan and me many years ago. My father in law (who is also a physician) often says that "we chose (our careers) poorly". At first I was taken aback by this statement. He went onto explain that when you are a physician you often end up taking care of other people's families while unfortunately somewhat neglecting your own. People need our help and that doesnt stop because your kid is sick, or on evenings, weekends, or holidays, etc. After having Elizabeth I think the realization has hit that this is very true. It isnt an easy schedule to handle with a baby. Don't get me wrong, it is a blessing to be a doctor. I love what I do. It is extremely rewarding to be able to help other people. I am thankful for that, however, it is going to take every ounce of willpower to finish my residency over the next two years and leave the baby. I feel like a horrible mom for leaving her. I miss her terribly and wish that I was there to be with her everyday.
On a brighter note, our nanny is fantastic and is so good with Elizabeth! We really love her and have been very pleased so far with all she is doing. She is doing all of the laundry and doing some basic cleaning around the house in addition to her nanny duties. This has been a huge help to me and Bryan!!!!
On to other things.....Baby has been doing a few new things these days. She smiles ALOT now, she is able to hold up her head much better, she "talks" all the time, and the latest thing is she is LAUGHING ;-) On Saturday night I was putting her into her carseat before meeting Veronica and Daniel for dinner and she actually starting giggling while I was talking to her. We went to my parents house this weekend and she laughed and laughed at my mom. It is the most beautiful sound to hear her laughing. She is just really growing up so fast it is amazing. I am trying my best to take mental snapshots of our special moments together because I know, before long she is going to be a big girl!
Anyway, here are some new pictures that we have been taking over the past few weeks...
Cindy, Laura, and my Mom- the WV girls visit Elizabeth
Bath time!
Elizabeth in her baby Ralph Lauren
Who ME???
Hmm, wonder what's under here?
Happy Girl :-)
Spending time with Daddy
Check out those cheeks
Elizabeth with her favorite "baby" from Aunt Kim
4 comments:
laura i'm so jealous you got 14 wks with your little one! colin will be barely 6 weeks when i go back to work.. and i'll be going back next week! i can't believe it!
elizabeth has grown so much!! she's such a cutie pie!
She is so big and has changed so much..I can see Bryan in her eyes! But I still see you too?! They change so much..enjoy yourselves and know you are doing the best you can..and that she loves you best! YEA for beautiful little girls!
She is gorgeous!!! You will find the balance and it will be worth finishing your program; you always do your very best at everything and I'm sure being a Mom is no different for you.
Her big blue eyes are so pretty!!! I think she looks so much like you and your sister! Have a happy day!
Laura, she is just getting so big and darling! I love her big cheeks! I know it is killing you to be gone to work, but also remember that you and Bryan are not just working for you, but also very much for her! You are an AMAZING mother to Ellie, and AWESOME wife to Bryan, and I know that they both love and appreciate you soooo much!
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